So lunch was great, we met a couple friend of ours at their house and had a fantastic meal along with alot of wine. Always a great combination. So onto The Stalker. He is a absolutely gorgeous man with a great personality....just a couple quirks. We dated about 4yrs ago and he has always been in my life in some way or another since then. The relationship was doomed from the start because I met him while I was dating someone else and then I think he was always waiting for me to ditch him for another guy. Paranoia and jealousy is not a good thing and since he was a smotherer this made it even worse. Hence my little trip to Mexico with the girls where the booze was flowing and the men were hot and needless to say I met someone who wasn't constantly questioning me and let loose for a weekend. I haven't been very good at secrets and when this particular one came out he was crushed, and me to because I realized then that it would never work. Instead we did what most people do and tried. Ugh. Hate that, "How's the relationship?" You smile and say "Were trying." Doomed. Eventually we split but of course only after we had hurt each as much as possible beyond repair. Now we can be friends. I have made it very clear there is no possible way that we will ever be more than that. I just hope his persistence to be in my life isn't because he thinks I will eventually come around. Because I won't.
Biggest dilemma today is to work or not to work. I have the day off but a coworker doesn't have a partner today and I can't decide if I want the money that bad to work from 1pm to midnight then be back up at 5am. I work on an ambulance and could tell you some stories that would shock you or crack you up depending on the type of humor you have but really not trying to get fired this New Year, not yet anyway. Well The Engineer has called early this morning and I think I will listen to his voice mail. I didn't answer because I don't want to seem too readily available. Not playing hard to get or playing games, just need to make sure everyone knows my worth that I am dealing with because I think in the past I had forgotten that myself.
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I would have answered. Life has always been more interesting when you play the hand you're dealt. I never was crazy about bluffing. People can always tell, my tongue swells three times it's normal size and my eyes go all googaly......not to mention that I would want to know what was on his mind.
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